She's Got the Look: The Final

The end is finally here. After weeks of passive buildup. The first winner of TVLand's "She's Got the Look" has been revealed.

The show starts with a review of how we got here. I was only half listening but the voice over said something about thousands applying before being widdled down to 20 and then to our 10 finanlist.

There were some doozies in that bunch but the stand out in the application round for me was Ernestine, the fifty something woman with the Crystal Gayle length blonde braids and the skin tight lepord leotard. How she was passed up for the likes of Angry Paula we will never know. I can only hope that Ernestine has a closetful of those getups and will be back to audtion for season two. If there is a season 2.

Anyway, let us begin. As usual, the show starts with the ladies in the loft. Apparently, it is two am because they all look beat.

Celeste once again confesses to being over the top in everything she does and she's not about to let this little show "embellish upon me." I wonder what it's like to sit at the breakfast table with Celeste and her husband Bill:

Bill: Celeste, my toast is ensconsed in the toaster oven.

Celeste: Bill darling, please embellish my english muffin with Polaner's All-fruit

Karin on the other hand, has learned to look in the mirror. I think we all would have been better served had she learned how to walk like she's not looking for crack rocks on the sidewalk but to each her own.

She adds, "I am discovering what I look like...When I came here I felt like I was here to be the comic relief because I was the ugly one..."

Awww, I hate when people call themselves ugly. Unless that person is Biz Markie and then I would  just change the subject.

At least Karin got a new haircut from this contest because that crusty straw mullet she walked in with was not doing her any favors.

Bahia has realized a dream and I have realized that although she is an attractive woman, she doesn't look that great for 37. I mean best of luck to her but she's never going to be in that "Black Don't Crack" issue of Essence. Mostly because she's not black but also because she looks every bit her age and then some.

Tanya mumbles something about being true to herself while the show reviews some of her awful wardrobe choices. It is alway 1992 in her closet.

Robot Kim Alexis congratulates the ladies on making it this far and tells them that their challenge is to come up with an idea for their SELF cover based on the "You at Your Best" theme.

Bahia shares that although she is a creative person but not like this. My question is how can you consider yourself a creative if you've never created something?

The challenge is supposed to encompass all that they've learned in the house. The only thing that I've learned as a viewer came from Paula and I'm not sure how I would go about putting all that on a piece of poster board.

Celeste tries to get us to believe that this challenge will be hard for her because she doesn't "talk much about herself or think about who [she] is." Yeah right. I bet she prepares a dozen index cards full of talking points before she goes to the gynocologist.

I'll mention here that Celeste is wearing about a half dozen pieces of "ethnic" jewelry in this scene. Seriously, it looks like she was shopping for it at Cost Plus right before a bomb went off.

Her board is going to be about the representation of a young body on an older woman. Celeste you look good but come on already.

Tanya...well, I don't know what Tanya was talking about but it has something to do with bubbles. She says, "If they send me home after this then it's time for me to go home." Thank you Siddharta.

Commercial Break: George Foreman has a new reality show and his wife has some seriously thick eyebrows. They're a Tweezerman's dream come true.

Now the ladies are meeting with the editors at SELF to unveil their ideas. Bahia is wearing that awful tinsle suit again. Really, is she homeless or something?

Her theme is "I Am Enough." which isn't bad. She presents a storyboard with a photo of herself sans makeup sitting in bed. The editors take one look at that suit and call bullshit on her theme. If she was "enough" then why stroll into an interview wearing a Christmas tree's cast-offs?

This pissed Bahia off. She hates being judged by women because women always tell other women that they are too sexy. I feel you Bahia but that suit still looks like shit.

Tanya's theme is "Beauty is a Journey, Not a Destination." In the middle of her storyboard is a bathtub that Kim Alexis thinks looks like a pot of chilli. The editors ask her why this journey ends in a bathtub and she can't really answer. She should have said that the bathtub is where she takes her Xantax but I guess she ran out of time.

I need to stop here to talk about Tanya's hair. In every one of her confessional pieces she looks like she just took the exit ramp off the freeway on the back of someone's moped without a helmet. There is no helping that woman if she thinks that hairstyle looks good to anyone except a bird in search of a home.

Celeste is up next. Her theme is "Ageless: Reaching for New Heights." She mentions that she's fifty three time and that she's fifty-one four times. Then she strips down to a workout outfit to show how fit she is at 50. Even the judges are annoyed.

Karin the Swede goes last and her theme is the Birth of Beauty. Her photo shows her peaking through the curtains in the loft and she's dressed like a riding instructor. That's all I think I need to say.

The judges deliberate. After a commercial from the AARP, Celeste is sent packing and actually has a very gracious exit. She only mentions that she's 50 four times.

Now the remaining women must realize their idea with help from a team of stylists and a photographer.

The photographer Ben Watts sounds like George Michael but looks like CNN's Richard Quest, if Richard Quest was a boxer instead of a reporter. He is also clearly not thrilled to be working on a second rate reality show because this dude is crabby. He seems to hate everyone's idea but has to go along because dental procedures aren't cheap and dude has some gnarly teeth.

Nothing much interesting happens here or at panel so lets just skip to the end. The ladies have their ideas reviewed. Bahia is dismissed first, she says that after all the hair and makeup treatments she can never go back to living in a van. She leaves behind Tanya (who looks fantastic with a new curly hairdo) and Karin.

After a bit of back and forth Tanya is declared the winner and I'm happy for her because I feel kinda like my mom won. The tagline on her SELF cover should read "They Stabbed Me Seven Times But I'm Still Here Bitches!" but they'll probably go with something tamer.

Sigh. What am I going to watch now?

ETA: So, every now and then I'll check to see what keywords people are using when they find my site because sometimes, it's just damn funny how they get here. Anyway, one thing that I've noticed is that one of the top keyword searches that lands visitors here this week is some variation of: Is Tanya from "She's Got the Look" black? Now, I'm not going to delve too deeply into this, that's what Racialicious is for, but to answer those dozen or so people (all but one from the South) who just have to know, the answer is yes. Tanya was profiled here and goes into her background quite a bit.

She's Got the Look: In the Kitchen with Daisy

I know at least one person reads these recaps, so to that lady, I'm sorry it took so long for me to publish this. I had Tivo issues last week. 

Anyway, the beginning of this week's show finds the ladies back at the apartment.  

Tanya comments that the competition is getting pretty intense which is kind of funny to me because this is probably the least stressful competition reality show I have ever seen. With the exception of Paula's brilliant ranting in episode two, this has largely been a stress free affair. 

Karin pipes in and says that the house dynamic has changed. By this, she means that there are no contestants left who have trouble walking --cut to Hope impersonating Melissa's stomp and Roxanne's crazy shoulder rolling walk. I guess you just have to see, it because it is kind of funny.  

Kim Alexis' voicemail informs the ladies that there will be an acting challenge. At least, I think it was Kim's voicemail but to be perfectly honest, I can't tell the difference between Kim's recorded voice and her natural one. She talks and moves like she has a battery pack in her ass. I've see Teddy Ruxpin bears that act more natural. 

Bahia is nervous about the challenge and tells Celeste that she will probably be better at this than she is. In time the viewing audience will learn how very wrong she is about that assumption. 

The ladies are taken to the Soho Playhouse where they are introduced to acting coach Dave Mowers who informs them that they will do some improv work and a cold reading for some fake automotive school commercial. 

Celeste says something about being 50. 

Tanya is called up first and in her confessional shares that she has absolutely no desire to be an actress which I am pretty sure is a first for a reality show contestant. Next comes Celeste who's hair weave is not looking so hot. The front of her hair is sticking up like she was Cameron Diaz's spermed hair stunt double in There’s Something About Mary. Her reading is as fake as can be. Seriously, it's like someone pretending to be a bad actress on a sitcom.  I couldn't understand a word Karin said during her reading so I'm just going to leave that one alone. 

For the first challenge the women are split up into two groups and must write a commercial about greeting cards in which someone cries. Acting coach Dave lets Tanya pick the groups because she was "brave" and went first when he made her. How exactly is that brave? She puts Hope and Karin in her own group and pairs Celeste and Bahia which already sounds like comedic gold. 

Tanya's group tries to figure out which one of them can cry on cue and I wonder if they'd been paying attention at all during Karin's frequent tear sessions. Tanya volunteers that she can "go there" if she needs to and I'm thinking that of course she can because she was stabbed seven times. Hell, I cry every time I think about that. Somehow inexplicably, Hope end up with the task. 

Karin has trouble asserting herself so Tanya and Hope come up with the whole concept which had something to do with Hope being alone on her birthday and then her friends come in and surprise her with a card. What kind of friends are these? I don't want a stinking card on my birthday, I want booze and cake. Anyway, the dreadful commercial ends with Hope being unable to cry.

Next up is Celeste and Bahia. Celeste decides that she and Bahia should pretend they are in a split screen like that Micheal McDonald/Patti Label video for “On My Own.” In this version, both of them a sisters who receive the one another’s card on the same day. Oh, and they're Algerian because Celeste wanted to speak with an accent. If a fake accent didn’t work for Kevin Costner in Robin Hood, why will it work here? 

To say Celeste is a terrible actress is an understatement. After watching her over the top ACTING!  I am convinced that she couldn't act wet in a bathtub. How does someone so fake not know how to deliver a few lines? Bahia goes to some dark place in her part and manages to shed a few tears. Maybe she was remembering the trapeze challenge or something. 

Somehow, they get the victory and are told that a special surprise is waiting for them in the loft. Celeste is criticized for being over the top but says: 

“Yes, as always Celeste Johnson is over the top, that is part of my personality. I have a gusto for life that I am not going to give up because someone tells me I'm over the top!" 

Fair enough Celeste. 

Commercial break: an ad for the AARP 

Back at the loft, a banker and a real estate agent appear to have entered the apartment. Except that it's actually Celeste's husband Bill (c'mon, we all knew she was married to an old white guy) and Bahia's best friend Liz. They are the surprise. Bill shares that Celeste thinks that he is "ensconsed in Chicago." Or was it entombed?  Bill estimate the resell value of the loft, no doubt wondering how Celeste manages to live in such cramped quarters while Liz spies her shoes on the floor need Bahia's bed. 

Bill says, “I can't wait to see the look on her face!” When the ladies come back and discover the surprise, we discover that the look on Celeste's face is the same look she always has on her face, surprised with a faint sheen on Fake No. 5. Bill and Celeste have one thing in common, they both love Celeste. Hope is impressed with Bill, commenting that Celeste "landed herself a winner." Although Bill seemed like a perfectly nice man I would have killed to see who would have walked through the door for Roxanne and Paula. 

After the newness of the surprise fades, the rest of the women are left to suck their teeth about missing out on the chance to see their loved ones. Karin starts crying (again) about missing her boyfriend who I imagine at a seven foot tall Strongman competitor. Hope feels bad that because of her, the others may have lost out on something so important. Later she apologizes to Karin for ignoring her during commercial writing. An apology and regret? This is yet another first for reality TV.  

Next we see Bahia, Celeste, Bill and Liz at dinner. Oh I should add that Bahia is wearing a seriously fug jacket that not only is two sizes too small but also looks like it was made from steel wool. Everyone seems to be having a great time. Celeste toasts the group: 

We are toasting to life. Here's to life, love, life, happiness, success, good health, wonderful wealth, and perfect self-expression!

 I know, huh? If I knew Celeste in real life, I think she would drive me nuts. 

The next day, that woman from SELF shows up again this time to bore the women about relaxation. She lights some candles, makes them lay on the floor...turns on some Marvin Gaye music...and, well okay, there was no Marvin but there should have been. 

Final challenge day and the ladies are told that they will be doing a commercial with Daisy Fuentes who appears wearing a school marm’s floral blouse and camel toe pants. They will be helping Daisy sell something called Fuentes Fruit Fritatas on an infomercial. 

Jokes on the ladies because of course, the product isn't real and to make matters worse Daisy has spiked to mix with hot sauce, salt and cod liver oil to see how the ladies react. Hysterical huh? If I wanted to see that prank I'd watch Fear Factor. The rundown: 

Karin seriously acts like a meth-head and has apparently lost all control of her limbs. When she's on camera with Daisy she's so weird an jumpy that I feared for her safety. Hope can't pronounce dairy and keeps shutting her eyes. In confessional she adds that the frittata tasted like shit. Celeste is Celeste.  Tanya does okay but really who cares, it's a crappy product and the acting always sucks on infomercials. Bahia mistakenly tells Daisy after the commercial that the product is disgusting to which everyone feigns offense, causing Bahia to feel really bad. I felt bad too because Bahia was wearing that awful jacket again. 

They should just pull a name out of a hat at elimination. Clearly Karin was the worst but the judges let her stay and give Hope the boot. Who's going to do the snappy one-liners now judge? Hope does manage to leave on a high note with some class. I'll miss her.

She's Got the Look: Runway Challenge

Yeah I know. I said last time that I wouldn't do regular recaps of TV Land's modeling reality show, "She's Got the Look." But after the whole Paula debacle from last week, I felt the need for some kind of closure which we all know, is best done via blogging.

For one, I still can't believe that Sharon, the spunky 63 year old is gone. Her absence makes me call bullsh*t on this entire competition. I mean, she was lovely, had lots of personality and a good back story. Don't these people know how reality shows operate? She should have won the whole thing!

Anyway, it turns out that I wasn't alone in my grief because at the beginning of this week's show, super svelt model Karin is visibly upset about Sharon's ouster too. Karin (who has an accent that up until now I've never noticed) tearfully remarks that she and Sharon had become good friends during their time on the show (which I'm guessing was three days max. ) She is incensed when resident bitch Roxanne plops herself down on Sharon's now vacant bed because, in her own words, she was too lazy to make up her own bed. Karin thinks this is extremely disrepectful and sobs while telling Roxanne to move her ass. Karin kind of reminds me of Sveltlana, the one legged Russian with whom Tony has a brief affair on The Sopranos. I really miss that show and I loved Svetlana so now I'm warming up to Karin.

Later Celeste, the hot 50 year old who won't let you forget she's a hot 50 year old, reminds the ladies that this is a competition. Why is it that on every competitive reality show there always one contestant that feels the need to remind everyone of this fact over and over again?

House mother Tanya thinks Celeste has a certain "hardness to her" and asks her why she keeps reminding everyone that this is a competition when it's pretty damn obvious with, you know, the challenges and cameras and all. Celeste mumbles something about it being a competition (again) and not taking these little relationships seriously. She actually says in an extremely annoying voice "It's a comp-e-tition BAY-beeeee" and she draws out that eeeeee sound for dramatic effect. It makes me want to slap that ugly ass argyle sweater off of her impressively hot 50 year old body.

At the site of the first challenge 80s model Kim Alexis (wearing a turquoise blue satin short sleeved button-up blouse in a snakeskin print that looks as busy as it sounds) reveals to the women that the challenge will be of the runway variety. She introduces a special coach and guest judge...none other than Roshumba.

You know what I think is weird? Roshumba sported short natural hair when no one else was rocking it and now that you can't walk ten paces at the mall without smacking face first into someone's two strand twists, braids, afro puff or locs, Rosumba is wearing a relaxer. She looks good though and hasn't aged a day, unlike her ex husband Gary Dourdan who's been looking a bit musty lately. Anyway, she explains different types of walks to the ladies including the "new school" walk which apparently is all in how you cross. The challenge is that the women must fashion a dress out of burlap and rope and then make it work on the runway. Haven't we seen this type of challenge a million times already?

When all is clipped and done the looks are unvieled. Hope (who has found her niche as the show's comic relief) takes the stage in an outift no doubt inspired by those old 1960s Hercules movies. Her walk is old school Cruella DeVille and when Roshumba asks her who she is wearing she says Versace, but she pronounces it Ver-saw-shhh which reminded me of Nomi Malone in "Showgirls" and her VERS-ace dress.

Karin takes the stage like a cracked out disco gypsy much to everyone's amusement. She finishes by doing the robot which only made me love her more because she was being serious. Tanya's dress looks like it was made by the wardrobe mistress from 10,000 BC. Bahia, inspired by 60s Chanel, manages to put together something decent. She said a few things but I get so enraptured listening to her smokey voice that I forgot to write it down. I don't remember anything about Melissa's dress but the woman has great legs. Celeste manages to walk and silently judge everyone in the room at the same time. She's like that woman at church on Easter Sunday who goes out of her way to make sure she has the biggest and most unique hat and when people compliment her on it she's like "what? this old thing? I almost threw it out!

Then there's Paula, who shares that she bought her first pair of heels 6 months prior to the show. To put it nicely, the woman walks like a cat with a severe case of rickets. Because everyone is still afraid of her from last week, no one says anything catty.

Back at the apartment Beverly Johnson drops by. Remember when Bev was dating Mr. Big? Anyway, she comes over and brings a big box of wigs with her.Tanya dives headfirst into the box and emerges with a sassy and short blonde wig. Roxanne puts a longer blonde wig on her own head and somehow comes out looking 15 years older. The camera then shows Paula fussing with a cropped reddish wig. Even though Bev picked this wig especially for Paula she doesn't like it and thinks it makes her looks like Aretha Franklin. She clearly wants a longer wig and in the end slaps a shoulder length number on her head to salve the pain.

Now it's time for Bev to sit everyone down to play a game of self-exploitation and reveal something no one else knows about them to the group (and the 12 viewers of the show.)

Celeste volunteers to go first and tells everyone that she's 50. Just kidding. She reveals that she plays the saxophone. Big whoop. Bahia shares that growing up in a Muslim family, she wasn't comfortable being a girl at times and still doesn't know quite how to express herself. Karin feels her pain and shares that she too had these issues because her father a farmer and a boxer or something but then she starts crying and I can't understand what she's saying but she and Bahia hug so I guess they felt healing.

Tanya shares that people always thought she was pretty growing up and then one day when she was 13 some girls jumped her and stabbed her 7 times.

I know, HOLY SH*T, right?

How do you feel about sharing your sax story now Celeste? Thanks for opening up about that one.

Who can share after that revelation? Paula tries to steal some shine and adds that she didn't know that that kind of stuff happened to pretty people and oh, by the way, she doesn't feel pretty either (yeah, we know Paula!) Roxanne, whom I am sure thought that she would finish big, shares that she was in a loveless marriage and didn't believe in divorce until you know, she got divorced. She's wearing Paula's discarded wig (which makes her look 60) and does her best to cry her way back into the spotlight but it ain't working. Did your husband stab you 7 times? No? Then STFU!

Final challenge time. The ladies must impress on a runway for a real audience of unenthusiastic production assistants and the judges. They are introduced to their host, runway coach Paul Morton. Paul has a headful of bouncy reddish brown ringlets like Rachel True. He must go through a tub of Curly Pudding every three days.

Immediately, we discover that Paula has a problem. Remember those heels she bought 6 months ago? Well, it turns out that they aren't actually heels, they're more akin to a broke down pair of Payless wedges and she's going to have to learn to walk in the real thing for the show. Isn't this something that should have been taken care of during the auditions?

Celeste feins surprised that the contestants will have to wear swimsuits on the runway. "Oh my God," she say, "who told them to put swimsuits on models over 35!" Then we see her in a two piece and she looks incredible, she also gets to share with the fitter that she's 50! Can you believe it? Celeste is like that hardbody chick in the dressing room at Target that feels the need to pop out and examine her body in the three way mirror in full view of everyone. She's only doing this to get compliments. "My ass looks so big in this doesn't it?...No? I look amazing and flawless...okay well, if YOU say so!" These women are bitches to the bone.

That beauty salon guy from last week is back and getting his revenge on Paula. Not only is her foundation a good 4 shades darker than it should be but he slaps a blonde wig on her head. Here's something about Paula that maybe you didn't notice at first. She has no neck and what little she does have is completely hidden by this wig. The overall effect makes her look like Hightower from those Police Academy movies sans the mustache.

Onto the show. Roxanne makes an ass of herself, slinking onto the stage like an extra from Bordello of Blood. Celeste walks like she has a bladder infection. Karin is akward as hell and Paula...well, we knew this was coming, Paula clomps onto the stage like a Clydesdale in kitten heels. It is truly awful and very comical. Roshumba can barely hold her sh*t together watching the display. Worst still, at one point it looks like Paula may be winking at the audience but it also kind of looks like an eyelash just came loose.

I promised myself that I wouldn't laught at Paula this week and yet here I am, on the floor cracking up. I won't spoil the ending for you but dayum, there is just no defending that walk.

She's Got the Look

This blog entry is for the 11 other people who actually watch TV Land's new ANTM rip-off, She's Got the Look. I have no intention of doing weekly recaps of this show but I had to post about last night's episode (which I'm sure will be replayed many more times this weekend on TV Land.)

Last night's competition had the 10 mature beauties break into groups of two (the pink team and the blue team) for a revealing photoshoot.

As any seasoned viewer (or former viewer) of ANTM knows, before the real competition begins, the model wannabes need to git their hair did. Kim Alexis and company take the ladies to the Warren Tricomi Salon salon and we're not even two minutes into the scene when it becomes apparent that this pricey beauty palace is no place for women with kinky hair.

While the white contestants get tips on how to enhance their image, the viewer is almost immediately informed about what is wrong with ethnic hair by the stylists and modeling agency reps. Sharon, the oldest woman in the competition, is told that her hair (bleached blond and worn in short twists) was "too out there" adding that it was "fried, dyed and twisted." Thank you Captain Obvious. Her hair is immediately dyed dark again and shaved within an inch of her scalp. Apparently, in the modeling world black women are not allowed to have any color but black or dark brown.

The color issue comes up again with Hope's hair. Her reddish hair color is also unacceptable. The horrified stylist commenting "I don't like the color, I don't know what it is or how it got there!" In spite of his protestations, she leaves the salon looking almost exactly the same. Celeste, the ravishing 50 year old is immediately called out for her wavy weave. The solution? To trim it and erase any signs of texture. "

Paula, the butchest contestant of the bunch (who is frequently compared on the Television Without Pity forums to Marvita from last season's ANTM obstensibly because they are both dark skinned with short hair) gets the worst treatment. Her snippy stylist doesn't even attempt anything with her hair. He says that he's just "not feeling the fro-hawk." Okay, I'm not 100% sure he said fro-hawk or faux-hawk but that's besides the point. "This kind of hair can scare a client, they're not going to get it." I'm left at home scratching my head because I've seen that hairstyle on dozens of models included mouth breather Agyness Deyn.

He slicks Paula's hair down with a tin of Dapper Dan pomade and huffs, " I'm not even going to cut it, there's nothing to cut...get some wigs so you're not so one dimensional." His tone is so unnecessarily nasty that I wonder if he was beaten up by popular kids every single day of junior high and high school and maybe that's why he's taking it out on Paula and her hair.

In the next scene we have Paula's mini-confessional in which she shows the first in what will be a series of wounds. She shares, "I feel ugly, my hair is short and damaged and I don't feel confident."

The only one of the black ladies spared the hair critique is Tanya. The agency reps only seem to have a problem with her false eyelashes which were completely undetectable on TV. Do I have to mention that she had some of that "good" hair?

Later, the show's resident bitchy contestant Roxanne gets first pick as the teams are divided into two groups. She chooses Sharon, Karin (the razor boned blonde,) and Paula. Paula lack of self esteem show again. She seems to think that she and the other women were chosen by Roxanne because Roxanne thinks they are less attractive, remarking that Roxanne would do "anything to get on a pedestal to make herself stand out." I'm half heartedly going to agree because Roxanne has a stank attitude.

At this point, I'm starting to get that uncomfortable feeling. The one I get when I think that I've identified the reality producer's special aka "the crazy black woman" in the cast. I sit back and wait to see how it will unfold.

Onto the shoot. It is very obvious that this show has about 1/100th of the budget that ANTM enjoys. The ladies are wrapped in sheer fabric clinging to each other for dear life. The pictures are comical but the pink team manages to pull off the meaningless victory.

Now for the real meat of the episode. Paula is not happy and she says so. "I wasn't happy about that. Everyone can't be blonde and have blue eyes." This is true but it is also worth noting that there was only one blonde on each team of five. But I digress, now is not the time for specifics. It is about Paula's pain. You know when you're cooking something on the stove but you're only half watching it because you're on the phone or your kid is doing something potentially destructive so you take your eyes off of it for a minute and then suddenly you hear that hiss right before everything bubbles over? Paula just hissed. It's pretty obvious that she's never felt comfortable in her skin and now she's mad as hell.
Back at the apartment, the blue team sequester themselves into their bedroom to hash out the their defeat while the winning pink team stand around in the kitchen chiding the blues for being sore losers. When the blues re-emerge, Tanya is in tears and tells everyone that Paula has something on her heart that she needs to share.

This is the cue for everyone at home to grab their popcorn. In the absence so far of a Youtube video of the speech, I've tried my best to dictate what she said (all while wearing a wife beater) to the best of my ability:

I'm gonna tell y'all something...(pacing the kitchen)...let me just calm down, let me just calm down. This hurt very...I...I want to know why you won...Huh? Oh, the pink team wins? WHY?! You can't tell me it's not superficial...you can't tell me that. This is society! I'm mad, because you have to (Paula pounds fist on counter for emphasis) crush those barriers....because they take what they see...because if it doesn't turn you on right here (grabs crotch)...because if you don't have these (grabs breasts)...it's gotta be (touches chest again)...women got to cut themselves (makes slashing motion across chest) to be this? Congratulations because (interrupted by Celeste)...no, you want me to talk?

Celeste interjects that the pink team would have been happy for Paula had her team won. Bahai points out comically that Paula wasn't the one rejected, her entire team was.

Tanya, who has firmly established herself now as the mother hen of the group, add that Paula is being asked to accept her unique beauty and by losing the challenge, her beauty has been rejected.

Paula continues,

Believe in me because I have a story to tell...it ain't all about being beautiful. People want to hear what the f*ck you've been through...I've been through some shit...for what? Because I didn't turn you on? Because I got too many muscles? Because I walk hard? Because you're intimidated. [note: I can't properly convey Paula's body language here but yeah, this chick is intimidating like a motherf*cker] Yeah, I'm gonna take it personally.

In her wake Paula leaves contestant Kathy in tears babbling about not being able to take it anymore and wanting to go home. [Side note: if it wasn't for Paula's misdirected outburst, it would have been easy to label Kathy as the show's crazy person. Earlier, she admitted that she canceled Christmas over a bad haircut she received and later in the program she shared with the other contestants that she made her sons sign contracts pledging that they would never love another woman more than her. In short, Kathy you owe Paula big time.]

In spite of her angry take on Sophia's "all my life I've had to fight" speech. I feel for Paula, I really do. And I can relate. It is hard sometimes to feel attractive in a society that traditionally favors only one type of beauty. That said, I still found this whole exchange funny. I mean, I felt a little bad for laughing at someone in pain but I had already had a few glasses of wine and my husband was giving me that look that says "Why the hell are we watching this garbage?" It seems like Paula went on this show to prove something and to get validation which was a mistake. Reality shows aren't in the business of making anyone feel good, they exist to provide cheap entertainment by mocking the ambitions of people foolish enough to appear on them.

So Paula, I'm sorry I chuckled because everything you said was true but maybe next time, you should just start a blog.